$ Both Sides Now $

I see it from both sides now - when someone offers to cover the bill, especially dining out - it’s often because they know money might be tight. Still, as kind as the gesture is, it can feel really uncomfortable. I’m lucky to have friends and family who are generous and willing to help, but when you’re used to paying your own way and suddenly can’t afford the things you used to, it makes social outings feel a lot more complicated.

The other day, I met my mom and her friend out for lunch. Of course, she offered to pay, but I told her I was there to just enjoy her company - I had leftovers at home (and I truly did!). I wasn’t there to be treated. Also, I hated the idea of her spending a lot of money on a fancy meal for me. I get why she’d want to - it's an act of love - but I also know it's not the most practical thing.  It’s a delicate balance - appreciating the gesture while also wanting to protect her.  I can hear her now though… “I don’t NEED to be protected.  It’s not YOUR job to protect me.”

Lately, I’ve started opening up about how I’m feeling. I really appreciate it when people pause, listen, and respond with thoughtfulness instead of just being immediately dismissive and waiving me off.  Most of the time people offer to pay because they genuinely care and want to be supportive.  And I’m realizing - it’s not just about me. It’s about them too. Spending time together, feeling like they’re helping in a meaningful way - that matters. Honestly, I feel the same when I volunteer. There’s something deeply fulfilling about showing up and knowing it makes a difference.